Happy Smile Tiger Bar

"ICE COLD Chang beer, Singha beer, Tiger beer", B chants merrily as we stop at a traffic light and wait for the long 120 second count down before the mass of bikes surge off. The locals look on in amusement and amazement, they've seen lots of interesting things happen with these 'farang' (non-Thai/western visitors). This particular happening is a large polystyrene picnic box bungee-strapped onto the front shopping basket of a worn out 135cc Tiger motocross look-a-like. And the rider is making a joke of selling his chilled boozy wares whilst baking in the heat at the very long stop. The traffic lights have convenient flashing numbers counting down in seconds until the green zero signals GO. Sometimes there can be a burning hot wait of 120 seconds, so why not amuse the crowds with a bit of banter. The number gets to 3, 2, and everybody revs across before 1, zero, GO. Our friends, P&S, from freezing France have arrived for a month's winter sun on the island of Phuket, and we have an exciting collection of places to show them and things to do. Mixed in with fun in the sun are compulsory visits to the dentist and optician. The first few days are filled with renting a bike, sleeping away the jet lag, and warming up to Thai cuisine. The dental surgery we have been attending for the last 10 years is situated in the middle of the Island, so 30kms from the north (airport beach bungalow end) and about 34 kms from the South (snorkel beach bungalow end). B and I are staying in a room-to-rent in a road off the airport beach that we have nicknamed Boom Boom Alley. The noise and the beat goes on until 4am, the stray men get drunk, the bar girls are sweet and the room is cheap. Before P&S arrived we had ridden around to lots of resorts to find suitable accommodation, alas either full or too expensive. Then by chance, we meet up again with Boo, the previous manager of Paradise Bar in Boom Boom Alley. Her neighbour has a spare room , a few kms inland . So B and I follow Boo, up and along and around the houses, and have a wonderful surprise. We know the neighbour! We had met on several previous holidays through her brother, who ran a beach restaurant. When the tsunami came he scaled a100 foot tree and hung on. To this day he still cannot comprehend how he climbed it. He had lost his restaurant then and now again when the military cleared the beaches of unlicensed traders. It was so good to meet up again. The room is comfortable, spacious, clean, and quiet. We have a place to stay, and P&S from freezing France have a place to stay. It's Time to get on with the places to see, things to do and appointments with dentist and optician. After 3 days of R&R at airport beach bungalows we move to snorkel beach bungalows at the South end of the Island. Our friend and her neighbour Boo have kindly agreed to look after all the extra winter gear whilst we go off exploring and travelling. To get to the South end of the Island, the bike ride is either a tortuous Ride along Cliff top roads for 60kms or straight down the middle, through the city centre and out the other side, with the dentist in the middle. We move our belongings from North to South, stopping off to make appointments. One month later we have done a total of 17 trips to the the dentist, optician and audiologist! These were combined with outings to the beach, celebrating Chinese New year, strolling up the infamous Soi Bangla, dancing the night away at a go-go girl disco, exploring the old city of Phuket town, wandering around temples and markets, shopping and eating out. All four of us now have happy smiles, clear vision and B no longer accuses us of mumbling 'cos he can now hear. Our combined average age is 67 years and some parts are wearing out. We have booked into the snorkel beach bungalows for 14 days and awake each morning to the sound of the waves which are 10 metres from the front door at high tide and as far as 40 metres away at low tide. We sit on the stoep, read, sketch & paint, watch the waves, swim & snorkel, and devise a plan to make beer o'clock easier on the pocket. What about a coolbox with ice someone suggests? Good idea. It's a hot bike ride to the supermarket through winding roads and busy streets filled with open air restaurants, bars, stalls, art galleries and traffic. We buy a sturdy polystyrene cool box and bungee it on to the front basket of the Tiger bike. TIGER BAR is born. It is stocked with beer, thai whisky, tins of ice coffee, bottled water and ice. We off load and now relax on the stoep without spending too much of our diminishing baht. A beer at the bar costs 160baht, a beer from the supermarket is only 33baht. 50 baht equals 1 British pound. And so in between visits to the dentist, optician and audiologist we also detour into the supermarket for liquid provisions and the local ice delivery driveway. The timing of the ice buying is quite critical. A 10kg plastic bag strapped onto the front basket melts ever so fast on the 5kms ride back to the bungalow through the village and around the cliff tops, giving B and me a ice cold water splash as we ride along. There's a 4 day gap between appointments so we decide to ride off the Island, heading North towards Khao Lak and the Similan Islands. TIGER BAR comes too, as we pack up and say goodbye to snorkel beach bungalows. TIGER BAR also contains fresh bread, peanut butter and fresh paw-paw slices. The 100kms ride up the coast was packed with events. In search of accommodation the GPS on our phone took us down a strange plantation road directly to the sea, so before we retraced our route Tiger bar was opened for a picnic and refreshments. Back on the main road we followed a twisty route, passing a turtle conservation facility where we saw these pretty creatures being bred for an annual release back into the sea. It was hot and we were thirsty, thank you Tiger bar. Another Cul-de-sac! Will we ever get to KhaoLak. We followed a shortcut road through busy streets and were halted by a colourful procession of Chinese/Thai, bearing treasures on high platforms and lighting firecrackers. The smoke and noise and excitement roused the crowd, what a lucky detour. We just missed a bright orange snake as it coiled and slithered across the road. And there in the distance was a large monitor lizard, also trying to avoid being roadkill. As dusk approaches we find a hotel, opposite a market and a beach. After such a long eventful day there's still time for a swim and sundowners. Tiger bar sure came in handy and is now ready for restocking. We have booked a speedboat trip with Island snorkelling for the next day. No turtles in their natural habitat were spotted, but plenty of other delightful water world creatures were seen and photographed. The next dental appointment was looming, so after a few days exploring around Khao Lak it was time to head south again. Tiger bar was stocked with provisions for the journey back to airport beach bungalows. We took the inland route high up and over the Phang-Nga ranges, through banana plantations and jungle vegetation, stopping every few hours to rest legs, refuel the bikes and quench our thirst. B is chuffed to discover that the Tiger bar adds weight to the front wheel making the bike handle better. (A counter balance to me, I suppose!). By now Tiger bar is as battered and worn out as Tiger bike. The bungee straps have scored deep grooves in the polystyrene lid. The front basket bolt has sheared, gaffer tape has been replaced by a new bolt and the outside of the once-white box sports dusty trails dotted with unlucky miggies. We made it home in time to clean up, unpack and head off to the dentist again. For some reason most of our appointments were after 6pm and they were nearly always more than 2 hours long as the four of us were seen in turn. The ride there was at dusk, the ride back in the dark. We always seem to dose off at the dentist: was it the result of a busy fun day or was the delicious ice cold fresh fruit cooldrink laced with a calmative ingredient? Anyway the power nap meant we enjoyed the 30kms ride home in the dark, stopping en route for a bite at one of the many Thai restaurants. P&S from freezing France are now warm, relaxed and have completed all the dental and eye checks. They leave tomorrow and catch a lift with Boo to the airport. She is 8 months pregnant and rides her 125cc chariot, consisting of a fixed side car made out of reinforcing rods in great style, cowboy hat perched atop for shade to complete the image. We say goodbye and then pack up our belongings and head back down the island for a last few days at snorkel beach bungalow. Tiger bar's use is nearly over and and Tiger bike needs to be stripped, packed away in cling film/food wrap for next year's adventure.