"Sunrise in the mirror
Lightens that invisible load
Riding on a nameless quest
Haunting that wilderness road
Like a ghost rider"

---RUSH

Those lyrics penned by Rush drummer and fellow motorcyclist played over and over in my mental PA as dawn broke behind me. The big beemer felt comforting underneath me moving quickly westward into the Temblor Range as I tried to shake off the anger brought on my yesterdays events.

My wife had been fired yesterday, unjustly, with no explination by an untouchable bueracarsy we once felt we could trust.

No answers, no peace, I twist the throttle harder and feel a small thrill of satisfaction from the sound of metal foot pegs grinding on pavement.

Long clear straightaway ahead...pass that annoying truck on a double yellow, retract windshield, tuck down...focus narrows, mercifully, to nothing more than adrenilane and hyper vigilance to road conditions...the tachometer approaching redline in peripheral vision.

That helped a little.

Twist, go fast, repeat...a sure fire formula for moto-therapy.

Finally the anger settles to manageble levels and it's time for a break before heading to my own job at the same bueracracy which I no longer respect or trust.

Pull over at the Buttonwillow Starbucks....

Sitting ther eating my bran and cranberry muffin and drinking my non-fat, sugar free latte....and start thinking

What the FUCK kind of man am I? I'm so caught up in keeping my Stuff and my precious insurance and all that, well Stuff...that I've somewhere misplaced my manhood and I'm going to go back to that office, put on my workface and smile at that lying faithless sorry excuse for a boss that screwed my wife over yesterday.

Non fat latte?

Back in the good old days of this area when men were men and stuff meant something I would have my horse (motorcycle) outsided the saloon (starbucks?!) drinking whisky and oiling up my six shooters instead of swilling lattes and adjusting my tie.

Then, I would have walked in to the sorry bastards office and demand that he account for his actions!!

What would Robert Bly say?

----to be continued.