Zen and the art of Motorcycle touring

(or in our case Steptoe and Sons European tour)

The catalyst.

Jonathan sends a message.

Of course in the old days one would write a letter or send a telegram, these days text and email are the thing with young people

My Nephew Jonathan has long had an interest in 2 wheeled travel, his father encouraged him by teaching him to cycle and as he grew older trips to Europe on two wheels fulfilled his wanderlust.

as a youngster he rode on the back of my motorcycle, and then later on he kept asking me to take him on a motorcycle tour, leaving 6th form and having a gap before a period working overseas on a farm in N.Z. gave me the incentive to arrange a trip across Europe to Mandello del Lario and the G.M.G ( world Guzzi Days) a three day explosion of motorcycles, food fashion and culture and the meeting up of the clans.

Of course we experienced a few mechanical problems which we overcame by using Jonathan as starter motor i.e. bump starting the bike until we reached Mandello, where the ever helpful Agostinis mended it for us, then another trip to Italy came about courtesy of one of my daughters getting spliced on the roof of a castle, so rather than taking the big bird we did an unusual and indirect tour to Italy and back.

Shortly after this he sprung a surprise on me, he had taken and passed his motorcycle test and wished to buy a motorcycle, of course a Moto Guzzi was the only machine considered, having seen them built in the factory the seed was planted, I recommended a Honda but he is made of sterner stuff.

After a tour of Ireland followed by a tour of Scotland he decided that a trip over the big water was on the cards, and asked me whether I fancied it, foolishly I agreed and suggested Belgium as it is fairly near and small , an idea slowly formed in my mind, and I let it germinate in the odd moments that my brain was not being used to its full extent, which to be honest that is most of the time as I am not the brightest light on the Christmas tree

I plan a route and locations, do much book reading ( recommend War Walks by professor Richard Holmes)

And finally dates were agreed upon when his employment with a major motor manufacturer would finish and before his return to the university

That made it the end of September !!! so not sunny and warm and no long nights, oh well I had promised so that's it.

Sent him a copy of my packing list with all the essentials on it, so thats him sorted.

Next thing was the ferry, booked with DFDS as usual, excellent service and great ships

Dover to Dunkirk is the only option for me as I love the port, pity about the awful road down from the big smoke

Now here is where is gets complicated, in my head I have this plan whereupon I arrange my route and agenda, service the motorcycle and do a few hundred miles to settle it before the off, and pack all my bits and pieces ( I have a list that I print out based on a few years of doing this) and take a day off before I leave to relax and treble check everything ( I hate rushing)

I usually lay out a heavy duty pasting table and each day lay the components of my journey upon it in the same way an author lays out a book , in plenty of time I started to type up a route and a list of places to visit, I always put more in than I can achieve on the basis that things change and if stuck in one area for whatever reason I can find plenty to do and not miss anything, I purchased some new maps of Belgium ( I love maps) and then type up my route, this took about 20 pages including all the information about the sites we were visiting.

All was looking good by B Day minus 20, what could possibly go wrong ??,the ancient worn out Guzzi that has guided me faithfully on so many previous trips was given the once over and found fit for further use, the various spare parts required for the little embarrassing incidents were packed away in the corners of my panniers, the toolkit checked and oil and lube also loaded up, riding gear cleaned and checked and laid out ready.

Now all I had to do was finish a few jobs at work, then take a few days off to pack everything, relax and get myself in the mood simples.

Nope, first thing I find my brother and sister in law are visiting for the week and will arrive on the day I leave, so a massive tidy up session is in order to allow them to park their camper-van and hook it up to the power, then work goes mental and I end up working all weekend, but I can handle it, adjust the schedule tweak the times and its good to go?

Oh I forgot, my erstwhile riding companion, the one who had requested the trip has decided to bugger off on a jaunt, Cornwall , Scotland Ireland ? no, the mad bugger went to Chernobyl !!Poland Czechoslovakia Hungary and all points east, now I was starting to panic a bit as I live in Gloucestershire and he is based in some rural county north of me, but his motorcycle was in London in my brothers garage.

Our ferry was booked for 4.30 am as I wanted to get the maximum daylight once over the water and bearing in mind the time difference ( plus he never gets up in the morning)

So an email to him to confirm that his bike would be ready and so would he

no problem according to him the Guzzi was locked in my brothers garage, fuelled up packed and ready for the off, he would return from his 2 week radioactive jaunt on the Tuesday afternoon just after lunch, allowing me time to ride down the following day and then get a few hours sleep before our midnight departure ( to allow for accident and breakdowns etc.)

mm I relax a bit, managed to finish work and leave a day free before the off, a first in my case

then the in laws arrive and try as I might I keep getting distracted, my brother in law is building a slot car racing course of the isle of mull rally, so I keep getting distracted by that , and of course the phone rings, stuff for work, and various motorcycling friends call in or ring to take the piss and ask about my funeral arrangements !

Then comes the bombshell, a certain budget airline owner finds that most of his staff are on holiday and are not coming back , So Jonathan s last minute travel arrangements become a trifle fluid, however he manages to get himself to Brussels and organises a return trip on the big train, but he will not get back home until 10pm wednesday!!! I ask him if he will be ready and rested and he assures me he is looking forward to the trip and will be full of the joys of life

ha !