It Didn't Happen In Monterey
24.4.10 Monterey, CA
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At last! Microwave Cheese-On-Toast. *literally dies*
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Before we go any further, I'd like you to look at this photograph of a food product I saw in a supermarket in Arizona, and reflect upon the fact that civilization is wheezing its last.
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Stupid things to say to very attractive women who look about 28 and want to "bum" a cigarette off me, #1 of - oh - many:
Very Attractive Woman Outside "The Britannia" (a pub in Monterey): Excuse me - can I bum a cig off you?
Me: Sure! Er - mine are on the bar in there. (I'm smoking outside). Just grab one!
VAW: - I'm not old enough to go in there!
Me (here comes the stupid part - brace y'self against the wainscoting): Really? Reaaaally? You're joking!
VAW: Um, no. I'm 20.
Me (mumbling shamefully) Hmmaggghh... I'll get it...wait here... cough...
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Overheard: Classic High-Functioning Alcoholic Conversation In The Liquor Store (where else?), Monterey:
HFA: Good evening. I'm interested in purchasing - let's see - a half pint of vodka. What d'you carry?
Liquor Store Owner: Well, we have Smirnoff Red at $8.99...
HFA: I see.
LSO: ...Or Romanoff, $8.29...
HFA: Mmm-hmm.
LSO: ...Then Ukraina at $7.69...
HFA: Splendid. Any others?
LSO: ...Also Tajik at $7.29 and Potatski at $5.89.
HFA: I see! Thank you. *counts out coins on counter* I believe I'll plump for the Potatski - and why not make it a pint, since we're here! Thank you so much.
LSO: Thank you sir. See you tomorrow. *sigh*
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