5th April 2005. Accra.

Having returned to Ghana courtesy of BA's "Upgrade That Idiot To Business Class" service, we have spent 18 nights on the trot in Champs sports bar. Oh boy it's good.

I had a dream last night in which I was Mr Inappropriate. Mr I. travels from school to school, singing songs for the under-10's. He is dressed in a glittery clown costume and his song goes like this:
"At the top of my legs
There's a funny little man
With curly black hair
And a light brown tan."
At this point Mr Inappropriate is dragged away by uniformed officers.

One of the nice things about Champs is that, if you so desire, you can while away an evening playing pool with hookers. And they're always glad you came.

8th April 2005. Accra.

Dennis is the "Norm" of Champs. Micky is the "Cliff". Micky left a bar at 5am on Thursday morning and made it to Champs for 10am. The following conversation took place on Friday night.
-What happened to Wednesday?
-Uh, what happened to March?

9th April 2005. Accra.

1. Ghanaians are seriously into Christianity. They really really love the Lord.
2. Ghanaians tend not to smoke. It's seen as something bad people do.

So! I have invented a Ghana-only brand of cigarettes called "Kingdom". The cover of the pack features a dramatic photo of rays of sunlight bursting through cloud. The slogan for the poster campaign is "What would Jesus have smoked?" There may also be a low-tar version called "Eternal Life".

19th April 2005. Accra.

The Champsathon continues, but now we have visas for Togo and Nigeria and we're feeling the call of a new and unsoiled (by us) country. The Togo elections are days away and the smart money is on some fairly extensive post-ballot rioting, so we're keeping a close eye on the BBC Africa news website while we sit in Champs watching live Arsenal games and playing darts.