7th October 2004. Utrera, Andalucia.

I'm not one to moan, but Gibraleon was a little bit of a dead-arse dump.

The bars shut at 9pm. What's that aboot? (copyright Kelly Monteith, 1982). Also the weather was relatively awful (i.e. warm but quite cloudy). Utrera is much nicer, but you do have to stifle a scream when you see a baby riding a moped with no helmet on. Helmet law is a bit hazy in Spain (in my mind anyway). I think the story is that you don't have to wear one in built-up areas. There are thousands of two-wheeled vehicles here and they're all 2-stroke pop-pops. No-one wears a helmet. I cannot condone such reckless behaviour. But it is very cool.

Oh Gawd - I've just seen a 2-year old buzz by on a scooter, standing up in the footwell, helmetless. *shudder*.

Don't get me wrong - I don't use the phrase "pop-pops" in a derogatory sense. Scooters are as much, if not more fun in the city as anything else. Who could not weep with admiration at Rupert, on this very website, crossing South America with half a pint of 2-stroke oil, 49cc's of raw power and a t-shirt? The man deserves a gong. Or at least some sort of medal.

If you can't speak Spanish, an Andalucian accent is in no way helpful.